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Chewie is short for Chewbacca

Chewie is short for Chewbacca

Ani is short for Anakin Skywalker

What is Luke short for?

A stormtrooper

Another funny joke posted by bria9509, originally seen on Reddit.

nsfw:no

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  1. First thing Leia says to him in A New Hope when he opens up her cell during the rescue from the Death Star

    EDIT

    *LOVED* it. If I had awards to give, you’d receive them

  2. This is a good one! You don’t need to know every detail about Star Wars to get it, you just need to watch halfway into the first movie (A New Hope, ok?) Hate from comments is undeserved.

  3. “Aren’t you a little fat for a stormtrooper?”

    “Well stay here and rot, you stuck-up bitch!”

  4. ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense

    Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I’m a lawyer defending a major record company, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberatin’ and conjugatin’ the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.

  5. I’ve always assumed that Leia was f*cking with the stormie coming to get her for execution/more torture, just to keep her own spirits up.

  6. My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star Wars role play in the bedroom…

    …The only catch was I had to be Obi Wan, because she always had a thing for Ewan McGregor.

    “Of course!” I said, and got to work putting together the sexiest Obi Wan costume I could. I even managed to find Glow in the Dark condoms so I could impress her with my “lightsaber”.

    The night finally came. Dressed in my Jedi robe I slowly opened the bedroom door. The room was dark. I could only barely make out my wife’s pale naked body, posed sensually on the bed.

    I slowly remove my robe, revealing the faint blue glow of my ‘lightsaber’

    ‘Hello there,’ I say, in my best sexy Obi Wan accent

    ‘General Kenobi,’ she replied, as four other ‘Lightsabers’ appeared behind her

  7. Luke and darth Vader are dueling on the command bridge of the death star. The relentless to and fro is suddenly interrupted by Luke:

    “Dad, what is the point in all of this? Rebels, the empire, it’s all a big mess! Least of all for us, we’re family! Say, it’s not long until the holidays, how bout we put this awful business behind us and you, Leia and I spend Christmas together?”

    “Ksshhhhhh….. hcchhhhh…..kssshhhh…..”

    The sith lord considers as their lightsabers are still locked together.

    “Kshhhhhh….hcccchhh…. I accept.”

    Christmas rolls around and Luke and Leia are excited to gift their reconciled father his first christmas presents. Vader first picks up Leia’s gift. And without opening it exhales:

    “Kshhhhhhhhh….. hcccchhh….kashmir sweater”

    Confused, yet wanting to continue the effort to bring the family back together, Luke hands his estranged father his present. Again, Vader accepts the gift and as soon as his fingers touch the wrapping he exclaims:

    “Kshhhhhhhhh………hcccchhhh… Hair dryer”

    Luke, trying to hide his disappointment that this potential galaxy uniting day was in jeopardy asks with forced laughter:

    “Ha, Dad, how could you have possibly known?”

    “Kssshhhhhhh…… hcccchhhh….. kssshhhhgg…… hccccchhhh…… I felt your presents”

  8. Automatic upvote for this and any other joke that makes me get up out of my chair, walk into the living room, and tell my wife “I got a good one for ya…”

  9. I went to an Italian restaurant. The waiter came over to take my order.

    “Do you do ciabatta?” I asked.

    “I’ll try” replied the waiter. “Rrrrrrr-ghghghghgh!”

  10. I’m picturing Han say this with a sneer and Leia losing her shit while Kylo sighs and walks out of the room

  11. >What is Luke short for?

    > A Stormtrooper

    .

    Doctor Who had this the other way around:

    Ten: “You’ve got six billion pairs of eyes and you still can’t see the obvious, can you?”

    Master: “What?”

    Ten: “That guard is one inch too tall.”

    ^Doctor ^Who, ^Series ^4 ^[30] ^Specials, ^Episode ^5, *^The ^End ^Of ^Time ^- ^Part ^Two*

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It could’ve been worse.

Sometimes, I wonder to myself if my wife hates my body.