My Jewish friend says this is a non-offensive Holocaust joke

A Holocaust survivor died recently. Goes to Heaven and upon meeting God, he decided to tell a Holocaust joke. Then God said “That’s not funny”, to which the Jew replied “Oh, I guess you had to be there”.

Another funny joke posted by ryhaltswhiskey, originally seen on Reddit.



What do you think?

1k Points
Upvote Downvote


Leave a Reply
  1. I was at BBQ once with a bunch of international folk. One woman was from Israel and made a Holocaust joke that was really funny. You could play “Spot the German” really quickly with how nervous their laughter was.

  2. As much as Jews are the center of the holocaust, it was also gay/lgbt people, black, the mentally ill and tge physically disabled

    Little known fact, gay people had to wear pink triangles, just like jews had to wear the yellow stars

  3. This is a jewish joke made by jews, and there are layers of meaning in it.

    A dark humour, of course. The notion that for that to happen god had to be absent, and the very particular point that is present in rabbinic literature that god can be argued with and even change his mind.

  4. Your Jewish friend, huh?

    What a coincidence that it matches up word-for-word with a joke posted in the comments of the one about the Jewish taxi driver that’s on the front page right now…

  5. I was doing a fire training exercises years ago with live flames when my trainer slammed the door on a bunch of fellow firefighters. I told him it wasn’t the Holocaust. He turned around to me and yelled that “my grandfather died in a German concentration camp. I felt about one inch tall and hurriedly walked away.
    Maybe a half hour later I went up to him to profusely apologize and he replied… “yes, my grandfather died in the concentration camps. He was a drunk and fell off one of the guard towers”
    Then laughed his ass off.

  6. A rabbi went to a hotel and was treated badly so he proclaimed that God would destroy the hotel tomorrow at noon. The manager heard what happened and next morning apologized profusely and offered his stay for free. The rabbi was assuaged and declared that the hotel will not burn down at noon. When the time came and passed for the hotel to ***not*** burn all of the acolytes watching said “It’s a miracle!”.

  7. There are no taboo subjects in jokes. But, you’ve got to be sure, that your joke will not offend somebody. For example, I am a Jew, I can tell a Holocaust joke to my Jewish friends, but I won’t like a non Jewish person telling me such a joke. Also I won’t tell such a joke to a non Jewish person.

  8. This is really my favorite joke of all time, but to get there you have to actually *tell a horrible holocaust joke*. Everyone who hears it up to that point will be disgusted/freaked out (but in the joke, the survivor is telling the joke, not “you”). Really turns a joke into sort of a philosophical quandary, the inappropriate shock value just puts it over the top.

    So my version will usually be like (hey, downvote away, but the Jewish arm of my family loves this joke): 100 year old holocaust survivor passes away and goes to heaven; god says “wow, you survived the holocaust, come on in” and the survivor says “Eh, wayddaminnit god, ya wanna hear a *joke*?”, and you have to do this in your best old-yiddish-guy voice. So god says, “well, umm, sure my child”.

    Survivor says “So god, how many jews can ya fit in a Volkswagon bug??”

    God thinks it over – “hmm, small car, small back seat, very small – but there *is* a back seat, maybe, hmm, a trick question? Ok, four. I’ll say four.”

    Jewish survivor cackles a big laugh and says “And a HUNDRED IN THE ASH TRAYS, HA HA HA”.

    God frowns and says “My son, that’s a terrible joke – that’s not funny at all”.

    Old Jewish guy says, “Ahh, sorry god. I Guess ya had ta be there”.

  9. In NYC you’d be stoned for even breathing a joke.

    They recently found where some dipshit scratched a crude swastika in the pavement and about 40 people are about to lose their shit over it. Meanwhile sidewalks are literally falling apart to the point where people are in danger of tripping or falling around them.

    The dumbass doing the chiseling probably just wanted the sidewalk fixed.

  10. Im Jewish, my mom was born in Poland and was 3 and my grandfather was 20 when the Nazis came. Went to concentration camp and met my Russian Jew Grandmother, fought in the forest of Germany in the resistance till wat was over. He was one of TWELVE siblings and only 4 survived…

    So let me tell you…..

    This joke is hilarious =)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

My boyfriend was afraid the COVID vaccine would turn me gay…

A joke told by President Putin