I can’t believe she lied to me, not once, but twice.
Another funny joke posted by wubberer, originally seen on Reddit.
in Sex Jokes
My wife of 15 years has just told me she has been faking her orgasms every time we’ve had sex.
wubberer
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1k Votes
48 Comments
Come again?
Fool me once, shame on me….
They say three’s a charm.
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
–
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
ha ha sucks to be you, your sister sure didn’t have that problem.
My initial thought was: “damn he’s been having sex with her twin sister too?”
Your four kids will never believe it.
That’s what you get for marrying a 15 year old
Wife of 15 years?! Call FBI
In the words of bo burham: “Women can fake orgasms, but men can fake love.”
I don’t get the joke?
Ah well, keep your pecker up
So I let the air out of her and ordered a new one from Amazon! I can’t stand fakes.
Should have hit her with the “You not the only one”
I went to a marriage retreat a long time ago when my husband and I first got married. It was a gift his aunt and uncle gave to all their newly wed nieces and nephews.
Anyway, the couple running it said when they first got married, the wife never orgasmed for 10 years. Ways to stimulate women was never really talked about to them, or other couples, especially those with religious backgrounds. They didn’t really mention sex toys at the retreat although that is a great way to orgasm, but they emphasized foreplay a lot before the actual sex, like a lot, to help achieve that. Lol.
For all the married ppl out there, especially with kids:
Women fake orgasms, men fake bowel movements.
Lying at 15 years old is not a good thing, she might carry that habit into adulthood!
FIFY: “Joke’s on her: I’ve never fucked her”
Y’all crack me up. that’s like Rodney said him and his wife were going to quit smoking the only cigarettes they can have is after sex he’s had the same pack since 1976 she smokes three packs a day
How mad did you make her? You must’ve done something horrid for her to stop this nuke on you.
Is the joke basically the fact that he doesn’t have sex with his wife much?
I never understand these jokes about wives not wanting sex. Mine wants sex constantly, and while I wish I was invited more the point still stands.
“I’ll have to break it to the kids that I have too…”
f
At least she doesn’t call you at work when she DOES have real orgasms.
You guys are having sex?
she don’t like you that’s why she only had sex with you twice
“Quick, honey, i’m having my semi-annual hard-on!”
“Oh, you mean your annual semi hard-on?”
I don’t know many married people who have fakes their sexual desires.
Just like Biden’s wife. Your just a puppet. She has a side plaything at work.
Sheldon? Is that you?
Any kids
Only the unmatched skinned ones
Might be because your wife is 15
o
3 times, since her orgasms she had with your best friend are real.
Mr. Shapiro, this is a forum for jokes, not for your couple’s counseling.
I was in couples counseling and the the therapist had my wife and I talk about what would improve our sex life. I told my wife initiate sex more often, and she said “Call before you get home.”
As a man, I don’t care if she’s faking. I’m gonna be satisfied regardless. If she’s not satisfied, she needs to speak up and tell me how to do better.
I don’t know what’s funnier… The Joke or everyone’s heads it’s going right over 😂🤣
Double suicide lmfao
I didnt see the subreddit of this post so I thought this actually happened to some poor soul.
That means she lied at the conception of all three of your children too
Wait till she turns 17
She only orgasms when she fucks Chad and Tyrone.
Reminds me of the guy in sex class. They were asking who had sex more the 3 times a week, then once a week, and so on. They got to once a year and this guy is going nuts waving his hand. Teacher asks why he’s so excited and he yells, “cuz tonight’s the night”!!
We just gonna let slide OP’s wife is a minor?
It wouldn’t have been so bad if it hadn’t happened in front of our 7 kids
Don’t worry about, I know guys that have faked entire relationships. Including marriages.