Almighty_Egg
Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly takes off her top and says, ‘Look at these, they’re the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I’m sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.’
The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, drinks it down. Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever.
The Angel says, ‘OK, your Majesty, you may go in.’
Dolly is outraged and asks, ‘What was that all about?
I show you two of God’s own perfect creations and you turn me down. She pees into a toilet and she gets in!
‘Sorry, Dolly,’ says the Angel, ‘but even in Heaven, A Royal Flush beats a Pair. no matter how big they are.
Edit: Obligatory “Wow, this blew up!” message. Thanks for all the awards!
To those calling this out as a repost, I wasn’t aware but fair enough. My dad told it to me and he’s chuffed that you all like it! And as far as I can see, this has brought a lot of laughter to a lot of folks.
Another funny joke posted by Almighty_Egg, originally seen on Reddit.
She played her hand well.
r/forwardsfromgrandma
The theological implications of this joke are very concerning.
God didn’t create those breasts.
Dolly Parton financed research that led to a covid vaccine.
Shoot, I was hoping to hear about how great the Queen’s titties were.
Dolly Parton would never do such a thing. She may be trashy and flashy but she’s not like that.
She would have just let the Queen go because she has a servant’s heart and a charitable nature.
Damn straight!
A 9 5 hand in poker is called Dolly Parton.
“Dolly Parton die on the same day” you shut your filthy mouth!
Dolly Parton has been such a beloved figure for decades around the world that the DSM-5 has already classified a disease that people might feel when she dies.
–
Post-Parton Depression
Every time I think of this joke I get Dollywood!
Britain :Serving a Queen wich won’t die, wich can’t die at all – KEEP QUEEN ALIVE, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN EY EH
The first time I heard this joke it was princess Diana douching. I think that she beat dolly.
This little pun setup is gonna cost us 51 years
Man pick some other big breasted lady for this joke and it’d be funny. Dolly Parton is a saint and would never act like that.
The real lesson here, is that its best to die early in the day. Secure your spot in line
She also didn’t show “two of gods own most perfect creations” unless her surgeons name was God.
Totally unrealistic, everyone knows the Queen will never die
Bold of you to assume that [Queen Elizabeth ](https://images.app.goo.gl/F6Cp3HZHVKutizAK7) will die
LIAR
The British queen is immortal
Downvote me because “it’s just a joke” but Dolly is a genuinely good human who has accomplished SO much and it just feels cheap and shitty to reduce her to her famously large boobs.
This is bullshit. Dolly would insist that queen elizabeth go to heaven before her. That’s just how she rolls.
We all know Dolly would get in first. She’s sponsoring a literacy program for children, donates money left and right. Keeps her word to her former boss/friend. Etc.
The queen has successfully aided and abeted a sexual predator in the name of the crown.
What an unrealistic joke, as if Queen Elizabeth will ever die
This joke was only posted 107 days ago lol. Not hating I just think it’s funny how they circulate
This sucks. Not only is it not funny, but why’d you pick Dolly Parton of all people? If her role in the joke is just going to be to flash her boobs then maybe pick someone who A) isn’t famously super kind and well-loved and B) has real boobs.
Funny joke, but no way Dolly gets denied status in heaven. She’s too good.
If two good people can’t get there, then I sure am skeptical .
I would think Dolly Parton’s philanthropic contributions are a much more noteworthy accomplishment than BOOBS
Ms. Parton probably has the heaven fastpass since she’s the nicest woman in the United States
Take this as a reminder it is Dolly Partons birthday tomorrow.
Be more like her – do something good for someone. Donate to a charity. Make someone smile.
Be a doll tomorrow for Dolly.
r/angryupvote because the first sentence scared the SHIT out of me!
Reducing Dolly Parton to her breasts is boomer as hell and it’s horribly disrespectful of an (aging) American icon.
Jesus Christ you scared me to death with those first 10 words
It would be funnier if the the Queen and her family weren’t literal ghouls and if Dolly weren’t the closest thing to a living saint.
happy cake day
get out.
The angel will let the queen in and then switch the venue of heaven and hell cause Dolly is Dolly
So in theory, I, a mere plebe, could have beaten Dolly with a regular flush.
Man……don’t scare me!!!! I didn’t see the sub, and as I started to read the title, I thought it was /r/news.
I was like WHOA!!!! WHAT HAPPENED???
Jokes on you, Queen Elizabeth cannot die.
I realize that this is a joke, but I think Dolly Parton would get into heaven long before queen Elizabeth
I’m shocked. There’s no way the Queen of England would drink Perrier. French, foreign muck. Probably Hildon, not Perrier.
Dolly Parton is a fucking saint. If heaven exists, Dolly has a standing reservation
The real joke here is heaven operates on a daily limit.
“Sorry, I realise you led an entirely selfless life from start to finish but you shoulda died 10 minutes ago before we let Jerry in. Off to hell with you.”
> Queen Elizabeth dies
Ahahahaha 10/10, best joke ever.
Dolly Parton helped produce the Buffy tv show.
So I count on The Powers The Be to put in a good word for her.
So after the royal flush, heaven now is a full house :/
“Queen Elizabeth dies” yeah sure as if
Not sure if funny or treason.
…funny