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Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they’ll be admitted to Heaven

Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.

The Angel asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says, ‘Look at these, they’re the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I’m sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.’

The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, drinks it down. Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever.

The Angel says, ‘OK, your Majesty, you may go in.’

Dolly is outraged and asks, ‘What was that all about?

I show you two of God’s own perfect creations and you turn me down. She pees into a toilet and she gets in!

‘Sorry, Dolly,’ says the Angel, ‘but even in Heaven, A Royal Flush beats a Pair. no matter how big they are.

Edit: Obligatory “Wow, this blew up!” message. Thanks for all the awards!

To those calling this out as a repost, I wasn’t aware but fair enough. My dad told it to me and he’s chuffed that you all like it! And as far as I can see, this has brought a lot of laughter to a lot of folks.

Another funny joke posted by Almighty_Egg, originally seen on Reddit.

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  1. Dolly Parton would never do such a thing. She may be trashy and flashy but she’s not like that.

    She would have just let the Queen go because she has a servant’s heart and a charitable nature.

  2. Dolly Parton has been such a beloved figure for decades around the world that the DSM-5 has already classified a disease that people might feel when she dies.

    Post-Parton Depression

  3. Britain :Serving a Queen wich won’t die, wich can’t die at all – KEEP QUEEN ALIVE, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN EY EH

  4. Man pick some other big breasted lady for this joke and it’d be funny. Dolly Parton is a saint and would never act like that.

  5. Downvote me because “it’s just a joke” but Dolly is a genuinely good human who has accomplished SO much and it just feels cheap and shitty to reduce her to her famously large boobs.

  6. We all know Dolly would get in first. She’s sponsoring a literacy program for children, donates money left and right. Keeps her word to her former boss/friend. Etc.

    The queen has successfully aided and abeted a sexual predator in the name of the crown.

  7. This sucks. Not only is it not funny, but why’d you pick Dolly Parton of all people? If her role in the joke is just going to be to flash her boobs then maybe pick someone who A) isn’t famously super kind and well-loved and B) has real boobs.

  8. Funny joke, but no way Dolly gets denied status in heaven. She’s too good.

    If two good people can’t get there, then I sure am skeptical .

  9. Take this as a reminder it is Dolly Partons birthday tomorrow.

    Be more like her – do something good for someone. Donate to a charity. Make someone smile.

    Be a doll tomorrow for Dolly.

  10. Reducing Dolly Parton to her breasts is boomer as hell and it’s horribly disrespectful of an (aging) American icon.

  11. It would be funnier if the the Queen and her family weren’t literal ghouls and if Dolly weren’t the closest thing to a living saint.

  12. Man……don’t scare me!!!! I didn’t see the sub, and as I started to read the title, I thought it was /r/news.

    I was like WHOA!!!! WHAT HAPPENED???

  13. I’m shocked. There’s no way the Queen of England would drink Perrier. French, foreign muck. Probably Hildon, not Perrier.

  14. The real joke here is heaven operates on a daily limit.

    “Sorry, I realise you led an entirely selfless life from start to finish but you shoulda died 10 minutes ago before we let Jerry in. Off to hell with you.”

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