Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they’ll be admitted to Heaven

Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.

The Angel asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says, ‘Look at these, they’re the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I’m sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.’

The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, drinks it down. Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever.

The Angel says, ‘OK, your Majesty, you may go in.’

Dolly is outraged and asks, ‘What was that all about?

I show you two of God’s own perfect creations and you turn me down. She pees into a toilet and she gets in!

‘Sorry, Dolly,’ says the Angel, ‘but even in Heaven, A Royal Flush beats a Pair. no matter how big they are.

Edit: Obligatory “Wow, this blew up!” message. Thanks for all the awards!

To those calling this out as a repost, I wasn’t aware but fair enough. My dad told it to me and he’s chuffed that you all like it! And as far as I can see, this has brought a lot of laughter to a lot of folks.

Another funny joke posted by Almighty_Egg, originally seen on Reddit.


What do you think?

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  1. Downvote me because “it’s just a joke” but Dolly is a genuinely good human who has accomplished SO much and it just feels cheap and shitty to reduce her to her famously large boobs.

  2. We all know Dolly would get in first. She’s sponsoring a literacy program for children, donates money left and right. Keeps her word to her former boss/friend. Etc.

    The queen has successfully aided and abeted a sexual predator in the name of the crown.

  3. This sucks. Not only is it not funny, but why’d you pick Dolly Parton of all people? If her role in the joke is just going to be to flash her boobs then maybe pick someone who A) isn’t famously super kind and well-loved and B) has real boobs.

  4. Take this as a reminder it is Dolly Partons birthday tomorrow.

    Be more like her – do something good for someone. Donate to a charity. Make someone smile.

    Be a doll tomorrow for Dolly.

  5. The real joke here is heaven operates on a daily limit.

    “Sorry, I realise you led an entirely selfless life from start to finish but you shoulda died 10 minutes ago before we let Jerry in. Off to hell with you.”

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