abravenoob
A Ukrainian peasant finds a genie in a bottle. The genie offers him three wishes. He’s a stupid peasant but he knows what he likes.
The peasant says, “I want the Chinese to invade Ukraine from the east and then go back to China.”
So it happens and the Chinese army invaded Ukraine from the east and easily defeats the country.
For his next wish, before the genie can even finish his sentence, the peasant again asks for the Chinese to invade Ukraine from the east and then go home.
So it happens. And the Chinese defeat Ukraine from the east.
For his third wish, the peasant again asks for the Chinese to invade Ukraine from the east and go home.
“I gave you three wishes,” the genie cries. “Why did you ask for the Chinese to invade Ukraine from the east three times?”
Because to invade Ukraine 3 times they had to go through Russia 6 times
Another funny joke posted by abravenoob, originally seen on Reddit.
based
Did you just listen to anti-humans?
*Reminds me of this one …..*
So one day while walking home from work, a Russian runs across a lamp. Not thinking anything of it, he kicks the lamp, and a Genie pops out.
“I will grant you one wish.” The Russian thinks about it for a moment, and says, “Every time piss, I want to be best vodka ever.”
The Genie says, “Done,” and disappears.
The Russian gets home, goes to the cabinet, gets a glass, and pees in it. He notices it’s clear, so he takes a drink. It’s the best Vodka he’s ever had.
“Wife, come here!” She enters from the other room, he grabs a glass, pisses in her glass and then hands it to her. “Drink!”
The wife hesitates, but takes the glass and drinks. Best Vodka she’s ever had.
So the next day the Russian gets home from work, opens the door and yells, “Wife! Two glasses!” The wife gets two glasses, he pisses in both, they drink, and it’s even better than the last time they drank.
The next day comes, and the Russian gets home from work. “Wife! One glass!” Confused, the
wife asks, “Where’s my glass?”
The husband replies, “Tonight, you drink from the bottle!”