When you live alone, the only thing that wakes you up faster than a cold toilet seat

Is a warm toilet seat

Edit: Thanks for all of the shiny awards! u/reddit tells me they are very dapper.

Another funny joke posted by darkfish301, originally seen on Reddit.



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  1. We had an apartment in Ontario and if it got really cold, the cold water line in the bathroom would freeze. I found out that the hot water line never froze, and if you turned the hot water all the way on while the frozen cold tap was open it would backfeed into the toilet, it was quite strange to sit on a toilet filled with hot water!

  2. I once hollered from the living room “Hey honey if you’re in the kitchen can you bring me another soda? ” to which I heard “get up and get it yourself!” I thought what’s with her? Then I remembered she was at her aunt’s house in Port Arthur for the weekend. 😁

  3. Toto Washlet toilets with their heated seats are the best. My former workplace had them in most of the restrooms. I had to buy one for my home after that.

  4. Woke up one night sleeping on a weird position after some heavy drinking. While still half asleep I grabbed my left arm with my right hand, but the arm was numb and I didn’t feel anything on it. A second later I was out of bed and fully awake.

  5. Jay Leno’s joke….

    “The Japanese have invented a heated toilet seat. Big deal! You can get the same effect in any public toilet in New York… Nope! I want my toilet seat to be ice cold.”

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