My Boyfriend’s Parents Are Ignorant About Race. Why Should I Have to Teach Them?

A reader seeks advice on dealing with people who undermine her experience as a mixed-race woman.

How Can I Tell My Mother-In-Law To Buzz Off?

The New York Times – by Philip Galanes

I am a mixed-race college student and identify as Black. For a year, I’ve been dating a white guy. We’ve never had an issue with race — until now. When I met his parents for the first time, ahead of the family’s big Thanksgiving feast, his father told me that being mixed race is “the best of both worlds.” I didn’t follow. So, he explained: You’re “really white,” but you get the advantages of being Black in college admissions and diversity hiring. I was stunned! My boyfriend, on the other hand, doesn’t see the problem. He says his parents are clueless about race, and it’s our job to help them understand. But I’m not interested in that job. I canceled my Thanksgiving visit, and now my boyfriend is mad at me. Advice?

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